Blogging off!!!

This blog is moving as of now.

That's right, i've created a new site at http://fameasser.yolasite.com and I have moved this entire blog over to there as well as some other bits and pieces for you to enjoy.

Be sure you add me to your follow list over there and hoepfully I'll keep it up to date along with my plans to chart my weight loss regime I am embarking upon.

Ciao for now!

Shameless Plug Time!

Went to The Tempest Arms in Elslack just beyond Skipton today for Charlotte's Mum's Birthday. It's the same place we're staying at next year when Rebecca gets married.

Have to say that the food on offer was bloody beautiful.

Anyone who knows the area should definitely get there for a meal.

Here's the link to their site if you're bothered :

http://www.tempestarms.co.uk/food1.asp

Leeds United 2-1 Exeter City

LEEDS UNITED 2 (Beckford 13, 89), EXETER 1 (Russell 73)

United: Higgs, Crowe, Kisnorbo, Marques, Parker (Hughes 28), Snodgrass, Howson, Doyle, Johnson (Robinson 74), Becchio (Showunmi 84), Beckford. Subs: Ankergren, Prutton, Grella, Michalik.

Exeter: Jones, Duffy, Russell, Seabourne, Taylor, Harley, Golbourne, Corr, Cork (Sercombe 90), Edwards (McAllster 60), Stewart (Norwood 70). Subs: Marriott, Tully, Burnell, A-Henville.

Referee: N Miller

Booked: Showunmi (Leeds), Edwards (Exeter).

Sent-off: Corr (Exeter)

Att: 27,681

Leeds United just don't lose on the first day of the season, that is a fact. It's been 20 years since we lost on the opening day and indeed, the streak of wins at Elland Road now stands at 12 without loss at home.

Leeds gave league debuts to Higgs, Crowe, Kisnorbo and this week's season-long loanee Michael Doyle.

The match was a very mixed affair. Leeds certainly started the brightest. Becchio had a good header that just went over the bar and Beckford had a couple of efforts stopped by Jones in the Exeter goal.

13 minutes into the new season was all it took for Leeds to gain the advantage though when Ben Parker picked up the ball close to the halfway line and made a decisive dart around a few players before slotting the ball through to Jermaine Beckford who made no mistake, putting the ball out of the reach of the keeper in the bottom left hand corner.

Not long afterwards, Beckford also hit the bar with a header and Doyle failed to hit the target with the followup.

Leeds lost Ben Parker soon after though when he pulled up with what looked to be a painful leg injury and he was replaced by Andy Hughes.

Exeter finished the first half on top with a couple of chances but nothing that really challenged Higgs at all.

At half time, we were treated to the new halftime game where someone randomly from the crowd has to try to score from the halfway line to win a DAB radio...they also get free pizza...but the guy didn't do it so only went back into the stand with his pizza!

The second half started well, but a clash of heads slowed everything down whilst Kisnorbo was treated for a head wound, only to come back on the pitch sporting a huge bandage wrapped around his noggin!

Beckford had a couple of chances that he tried to lift over the keeper but he saw them both miss the goal.

Bizarrely, the Exeter striker Barry Corr was red-carded for an incident which no-one really had a clue about. Everyone seemed as shocked as he did when we walked.

Crowe missed an absolute sitter as he was put clean through and then he turned villain after giving away a free kick just outside the area which was converted sweetly by Exeter to make it 1-1.

Becchio had another good chance but couldn't scramble the ball into the net. He was substituted for Showumni who made a huge impact as he played a great ball out to the right for Crowe who lifted a ball into the area which met the head of Beckford who made the game 2-1 with a minute of normal time to go.

Beckford almost got a hattrick when his injury-time effort was saved by the Keeper.

It was by no means convincing...but the three points are in the bag and that is all that matters.

Next match : Darlington on Monday in the Carling Cup up in Darlington. I am heading up there for the game and will report back on my return.

The Leeds United Jinx?

Am I a Jinx on Leeds United?

I started supporting Leeds in the season AFTER they won the title. I had been to a couple of games in the title winning season but didn't become a "fan" until the season after.

I had season tickets for a good few years when I was a kid, but when I reached adulthood, I couldn't afford a season ticket so I stopped going...

...whilst I wasn't going, we were getting great positions in the league and getting into Europe and getting to Semi-Finals and all that Jazz.

When I eventually decided to get a season ticket again and come back to Leeds, it was the season that we were relegated from the Premiership and I've been going ever since.

Away games I have attended in the past :

Sheffield Wednesday a couple of seasons back...we lost 1-0.
Blackburn in the cup in the same season...we lost 3-0.
Last season I only went to MK Dons away...we lost 3-0 and the next day our manager, Gary McAllister was sacked.

I've got a ticket for Darlington (A) on Monday night and Walsall (A) on the 18th....should I go?

New Beginnings! Old League!

As the 2009/10 season fast approaches, what is in store for Leeds United. To say the last few years have had, as the chant goes, "ups and downs", is a complete understatement. The last ten years have seen :

• 2 Relegations


• 3 Playoff losses (2 finals and 1 semi final)


• 2 Champions League Semi-Finals

What other club can say they have has such a turbulent time as that? None that I know.

This season, Leeds United simply HAVE to be promoted. And we must avoid the playoffs at all cost. League One does not deserve to have us in their midst. We belong in a higher division, playing better teams and attracting more players to our lineup. I honestly believe we have what it takes to do it automatically, and do it in style this season. From what I have seen in the last three Pre-Season matches, we're in a great position to get to the stop and stay there right through until the end of the season.

This week we look set to lose the services of Fabian Delph who is looking likely to be running out in the Premier League for Aston Villa in the coming season, but our performance on Saturday against Burnley without his services proved to the fans that Delph is by no means the be all and end all of the team.

Last season's goal-hero Beckford who bagged and amazing 43 goals for us will be a key man in the squad again this year for sure. Backed up by Becchio and youngster Mike Grella, I'm confident that when we need them, the goals will be there.

Losing Delph will be a blow to the midfield, but David Prutton and Jonny Howson are more than capable of stepping up to the plate and making their name as permanent first-teamers. Flank those two with Snodgrass and Andy Robinson who are both goal-grabbers in their own right and we're on the right track going forward.

Coming backwards though is another matter. We've always conceded plenty of goals which makes the forwards' jobs harder as they're having to double their tally to pick up the three points. Simon Grayson has named Richard Naylor as his captain for the season and going by what we saw when he was brought into the team in the second half of last season, we have a lot of good defending to look forward to. Rui Marques and new-boy Australian Patrick Kisnorbo will be a solid partnership too. We're spoilt for choice for Left Backs with Ben Parker and Aidy White being the two obvious choices, with Alan Sheehan there as backup too...although his performances can sometimes leave a lot to be desired!

In goal, Leeds will probably stick with Casper Ankergren as the number one, although Shane Higgs, brought in from Watford has shown in pre-season that he is top notch and will be tough competition for the goalkeeper's jersey.

So just who will Grayson pick in his starting eleven on Saturday as we open up the season against Exeter?

My selection would be : Higgs, Parker, Kisnorbo, Marques, Crowe, Johnson, Prutton, Howson, Snodgrass, Beckford & Becchio with subs likely to be Ankergren, Grella, Robinson, White & Hughes.

Burnley 1-2 Leeds United

It's been a while since Leeds United have visited a Premier League ground. We did go to Newcastle on Wednesday, but as we all know, they're on the verge of "doing a Leeds" and as such will be wallowing in the Championship for at least a year.

So it was a nice surprise that we were set to have a pre-season match against a great Premiership team. Who would it be against? The mighty Liverpool with Anfield awaiting us? Would the beautiful Emirates Stadium in North London play host to an Arsenal Vs Leeds friendly?

Nope!

Instead, we were set to visit the run down Turf Moor, home of Burnley FC for our last pre-season match before the league got going. To say Turf Moor is a little run-down is an understatement. We'll get to the ground in a little while. Firstly we parked up, as a lot of Away supporters do, in the Cricket club car park around the back of the stadium. After a quick drink and a laugh at how dense the barmaid was in the cricket club (lets just hope she doesn't double as the team's score-board operator) we made our way around the corner and through the turnstiles into the ground. As you pass through the turnstiles (and pay the ludicrous £15 for the match) you are greeted by a large hole in the wall which passes as the entrance into the "concourse"...a corridor of concrete with almost Zero lighting. The only light seemed to be coming from the few entrances up to the seating area.

We made our way to our unallocated seats and found that we would be spending the match on wooden seats...lets just say it's a good job we don't sit down at away matches! It also sparked off the rendition of "Wooden seats? Ya havin' a laugh!" chant that was sung by almost every Leeds fan in the ground.

The new Burnley mascot was introduced to the fans for the first time this season. Something called Bertie Bee which, to be perfectly honest, looked more like a wasp than a Bee! Naturally it was greeted well by the Leeds fans : "What the f*cking hell is THAT?"

Then it was time for the match.

Leeds were without the services of Fabian Delph, strongly rumoured to be on his travels across the pennines to the Moneybags City. Whether the rumours are true or not remain to be seen. Jermaine Beckford had been penned in to starting the game too but didn't make the runout for the first half, leaving everyone a little bemused.

So Leeds lined up with a team of Ankergren, Crowe, Marques, Kisnorbo, Parker, Hughes, Howson, Prutton, Johnson, Grella and Showunmi (who was comically introduced as Enoch Showuminimini).

On paper we were a weakened team and Burnley were feeling an almost full strength team that included the likes of Chris Eagles (instantly disliked for his affiliation with Scum) and Robbie Blake, a Leeds United old-boy.

The premiership team were on the back foot from the beginning with Grella and Howson both going close. About halfway through the first half, following a bad tackle on Jason Crowe, Bradley Johnson stepped up and hammered his freekick into the post. Leeds were well and truly taking the game to Burnley. Showunmi missed an absolute sitter too when a ball came in low from the right hand side and he failed to hit the target with his tap in.

On 37 minutes however, the deadlock was broken when a slip by Burnley defender (and ex Leeds player) Caldwell, let in young American/Italian Mike Grella who curled a beautiful ball past The Beast Jensen and into the back of the Burnley net. Grella's relief was clear to see as he bagged his first senior goal for the club, one that the fans have been looking forward to for a long time too.

The Burnley fans were poor. I don't know whether it was a mixture of the fact that their team played rubbish, or whether the fact that we started chanting "Blackburn, give us a song, Blackburn Blackburn give us a sing" followed by "Preston, give us a song..." etc etc that really upset them.

As half time approached, Leeds United remained on top of the game, having another couple of chances but failing to add to their lead. Chris Eagles for Burnley had a golden opportunity to equalise in the final seconds of the first half but directed his shot wide of Ankergren's goal.

In the second half, Leeds picked up where they had left off and still pressed the sorry-looking Burnley who certainly did not seem to be performing like a Premier League outfit.

A few substitutions slowed the second half down and made it a slightly more sloppy affair than the first...but it was one of those substitutions, Andy Robinson for Leeds who stepped up to the mark again. A cross from the right and Robinson was there to blast the ball past Jensen's bottom left.

Burnley made a flurry of substitutions after the second goal went in and around the 76th minute, they managed to pull a goal back following a low corner which was slid into the net past Ankergren.

The game stayed 2-1 to Leeds who delighted in taking the scalp of a Premier League opponent.

I can honestly say that if Burnley continue to perform like they did on Saturday against us, they will end up being whipping boys in the Premiership.

As the Leeds fans sung :

Blackburn will murder you, Blackburn will murder you!
Portsmouth will murder you, Portsmouth will murder you!
Tottenham will murder you, Tottenham will murder you!
Hull will draw with you, Hull will draw with you!

Saturday 8th August, Leeds will play host to Exeter as the League One season gets underway and I cannot wait to be stood in N8 at Elland Road, cheering the boys on to victory on the first step to promotion!

Current Paddy Power odds of Outright League Win : 3/1

Leeds United 1-1 Blackburn Rovers - Saturday 25th July 2009

UNITED 1 (Beckford 50), BLACKBURN 1 (Gallagher 90 pen)

United: Higgs, Crowe (Hughes 56), Marques (Huntington 74), Kisnorbo (Michalik 56), Parker (Sheehan 69), Snodgrass, Delph (Robinson 69), Howson, Johnson (Prutton 74), Beckford (Showunmi 79), Becchio (Grella 79). Subs: Martin.

Blackburn: Robinson (Brown 60), Jacobsen (Olsson 66), Warnock, Nzonzi (Dunn 67), Nelsen, Givet (Khizanshvili 72), Roberts (Gallagher 66), Andrews, McCarthy, Diouf (Hollett 72), Pedersen (Van Heerden 73). Subs: Doran, Judge.

Referee: M Oliver.

Att: 11,885

The 2009/10 season finally comes to Elland Road.

After a mixed bag of matches pre-season, including a tour of Ireland, Leeds United finally settle back at their home at LS11 0ES.

Tickets were £10 on the door, which always attracts more fans. Charlotte and I picked up our tickets early enough as we were sure that the crowds would pick up...and indeed they did. 11,000 people were in attendance and as such, with so many people paying on the door, the kickoff was delayed by 15 minutes. Eventually the teams came out and the match was underway.

The Leeds team were up for the game from the off and pushed our Premier League opponents onto the back foot. Shane Higgs, Jason Crowe and Patrick Kisnorbo all made their home debuts.

Becchio had a good chance early on and Delph hit the post.

Higgs looked confident in goal on the rare occasion that Blackburn came forwards. He raised well to collect the ball at Corners and Free Kicks alike.

Half time and the game was 0-0 and we were treated to the last ever crossbar challenge at half-time in which two people hit the crossbar...god knows how they were going to share the signed ball that was up for grabs...I suggest a Ball-Share, one week on, one week off!

Leeds started bright again in the second half. It was eventually a Leeds corner that broke the deadlock. Snoddy whipped it in, Becchio deflected it towards goal and Beckford flicked it through his legs and into the back of the net.

Paul Robinson was in goal for Blackburn and was in front of the Kop in the second half and was loving the banter with the fans. He even threw his gloves into the crowd when he was eventually substituted.

All looked like Leeds were set to pick up the win........and then we brought on Alan Sheehan!

Me and Charlotte have a love-hate relationship with Sheehan...she loves him, I hate him! Simple as that.

When Sheehan came on, he just had rings run around him. How he didn't give a penalty away early on was beyond me as he bundled someone over in the area but nothing was given...so what does he do? Well, he waits until a minute from the end of the game and does it again, this time giving away a penalty which Blackburn scored.

Bloody typical.

Still, it was a really good performance and I would say that the season looks bright.

Next up...Newcastle (A) - Wednesday 29th July - Friendly.

The Taking Of Pelham 123

I have to be totally honest. I have never seen the original version of Pelham. In fact, I had never even heard of it until the remake was due out this week and I mentioned to my mum that "it looks good" from the trailer on TV. That was when she went off on one at me about how it was a remake and how remakes are never as good as the original movie.

I made a conscious decision not to see the original before seeing this updated version, as it can force your opinion entering the new film.

Thanks to those nice chaps over at www.seefilmfirst.com I picked up two freebie tickets to a special advance preview screening at the Odeon in Leeds/Bradford. Charlotte came with me to see the film.

The movie kicks straight into the action. Within five minutes, you have the lead antagonist, played by John Travolta in place and in charge of Pelham 123, a subway train on New York's busy network. Travolta is in excellent form as the psychotic Ryder who issues a warning that he desires $10,000,000 within the hour otherwise he will begin terminating hostages every minute until he receives his demands.

Ryder makes contact with Walter Garber, a dispatcher working for the system played by Denzel Washington. Washington is, well, Washington. You get what you expect from the great man. He's a great actor, but always tends to play the same person. I would actually find it hard, almost impossible to name any character Denzel has played in any other movie...and I must've seen him in over ten films as far as I can recall. But he's doing what he does best and the one-on-ones between him and Travolta are awesomely written and portrayed.

As the deadline draws closer and closer and closer, it's a race against time and morals which could have devastating consequences.

Gripping but simple in story, well acted, with some genuinely funny moments in there.

The atmosphere was great in the cinema and the movie did not disappoint.

It's fun, it's thrilling and I believe a lot of people will enjoy this movie.

D-Day

Yup...today is the day that I go back to the gym.

I've got my clothes sorted, my gym bag, some new sports socks a new water bottle (Just been and bought a new water bottle - they were all behind the counter and I said to the woman "can I have the one with the largest volume". She turned around and picked up a large one that was red with a black lid. I told her I'd take the smaller Yellow, Blue & White one instead...I ain't touching no Scum bottle!).

I'm ready to rock and roll.

Forgot to get on the scales this morning to give a "Before" reading on here, but I'll do it in the morning instead...it's not going to alter that much.

Went and signed up at the gym last night. First floor is all the weights and all the body-beautifuls posing in their tight t-shirts...but the room I want is upstairs...cross trainers, treadmills, rowing machines, steppers, cycling machines...perfection!

After work tonight I'll be stepping into the gym for the first time in years. I expect it to hurt, and I expect I will only be able to do minimal amounts...but to start with, that's all I need. I will build it up.

Wish me luck!

Car fixed!

Finally had my car taken in by the garage on Saturday after they picked it up from my house.

Wasn't going to be ready until Tuesday due to the act that they were super busy.

I knew it needed the clutch doing, that was obvious, but they told me on the phone that it also needed new Brake Pads. I mentioned that I could do with some new oil too.

Went to pick up the car on Tuesday after work, armed with my Sister's Credit Card. I was saying to myself that I would be happy with anything under £350...I was expecting much, much more.

When I was told that the entire bill came to just £331 I was mighty impressed.

The car drives like a dream now. Brakes are spot on, the clutch is marvellous too. It's good to be back mobile again.

Transformers 2 - Cert 12a

Transformers, the kids' TV programme back in the day never bothered me. It certainly wasn't on the top of my list of "programmes to watch when I get home from school" in the same way that Knightmare and Fun House were.

A couple of years ago, Michael Bay rolled out the first Transformers movie. Starring Shia LaBeouf and a, then unknown, Megan Fox, I went to see it with no real grand expectations of what was laid out before me. I expected massive explosions, tonnes of CG robots and zero plot. But the first movie surprised me. I came out of the movie theatre with a good vibe. The first movie was fun. There were a few laughs in there, plenty of explosions, amazing CG and Megan Fox...

So now we come to Transformers 2 : Revenge Of The Fallen. Set a short while after the events of the first movie, Autobots are working with the military, scouring the Earth for the last remaining Decepticons...for those of you not in the know, the Autobots are the good guys and the Decepticons are bad news. It seems as though Decepticon activity has been increasing, and no-one knows why...until Sam Witwicky (LeBeouf) finds a missing shard of the Cube from the first movie which imprints his mind with weird symbols when he touches it. It also allows all the Decepticons to home in on him...the details now in Sam's mind are the key to the destruction of Earth...something the Decepticons are naturally trying to do...being bad and all that.

Megan Fox returns as Witwicky's love interest and she's looking as glamorous as ever.

Transformers 2 is very high octane. There's a tonne of battle sequences that are quite simply mindblowing. The special effects are arguabley the best ever seen on celluloid. The story is a little thinner on the ground than the first film, but the Transformers movies were never going to set out to be deep and intellectual. Plenty of shooting, some genuinely funny moments, a shitload of explosions, some slow-mo Megan Fox running, an ancient battle...whip them all up together and you get one of the most fun 2 1/2 hours at the cinema you are ever going to have.

If you loved the first one, you'll love this one even more...and even if you didn't, give it a try. I honestly believe that this is one sequel that outclasses it's predecessor.

Look out for the voices of Tony "Candyman" Todd and Hugo "Mr Anderson from the Matrix" Weaving thrown in there too.

D-Day - T-Minus 8 days!

It's coming...

...D-Day...

...the end of an era...

...8 Days time...

...June 30th 2009...

...The day that I join back up to the Gym!

That's right. It's time to stop jabbering on about being unfit and it's time to finally do something about it. The gym is about a thirty second walk from my house, so i can't use the "oh I can't get there" excuse...the membership is reasonable so I can't say I can't afford it. I have no excuses apart from ones that I put there myself...and this time I'm not doing it.

This blog is the key. I'm going to keep it updated with the amount of times I go to the gym...how long I do there (i expect it will be short to start with and will build up), and ultimately the amount of weight I lose.

I wanna feel better about my body, I wanna be able to buy decent clothes rather than having to order from Premier Man because they're the only ones that fit me.

In 8 days time it begins.

Chunk 2 Hunk

Looking For Eric - Cert 15

As a big fan of Leeds United, I should technically hate "Looking For Eric"...but I didn't.

Eric is an unhappy guy who's separated from his previous two marriages but been left with two knobhead teenagers from the second marriage who basically treat his house like crap. He's a miserable bugger and his workmates can't cheer him up. He then turns to Eric Cantona who appears to him in visions and offers up loads of advice to get his life back on track. He struggles with his life and keeps looking for ways in which to get back with the love of his life, his first wife.

The movie is set in Manchester and had many links into Scum United and also plenty of knocks to their club too (the scene where one of them is watching the Barcelona match in a FC United shirt is quality.)

Ken Loach directs the film brilliantly, giving it a gritty edge as well as a true comedic outlet too.

It's a really funny film. There's some quality lines in it. It's got that big fella in it who's in everything manchester related, ya know the one in the Post Office adverts who was also in Early Doors and other stuff like that...I really cannot remember his name!

Worth seeing, but will probably just have the same impact on DVD if you wanted to wait for that

WHAT A DAY!

Well...the plan for today, Saturday 13th June 2009 had been simple. I had printed out the times for the cinema and the plan was that I was going to go on a movie marathon, 3 or 4 movies throughout the day. It was that simple.

So I woke up this morning and spoke to our Louise who said that she needed running to the White Rose because Rich had the car and she needed to get out of the house. So I agreed to pick her up, drop her off at the White Rose and then drive over to Wakefield Cineworld to watch just the one film and then come back to pick her up...after all, I could catch another couple in the evening.

So I went across to the cinema and watched Night At The Museum. It was good fun, but not quite as good as the first one. Well worth watching though. After I came out of the cinema, I spoke to our Louise who had Rich pick her up from shopping...bonus...I could watch another film.

I got a ticket and went to see Looking For Eric and absolutely loved it. Its a quality film. Heartwarming, funny and touching all in one.

Then the day took a turn...

...the car has been "squeaking" for a week or so now. I was driving home from the cinema and the clutch just felt wrong. Something wasn't right. I managed to get almost back to Kirsty's where I'm house-sitting. As I was about to turn up Crow's Nest Lane, the clutch gave out completely and the car stalled. I started the car up again, but it wasn't letting me get into gear...oh bugger!

I phoned the RAC and they said that it was going to be 2 hours before someone could get out! Typical.

Our Louise and Rich came over which allowed me to go up to Kirsty's to feed the dog and the fish and the rabbit. We waited for the RAC man to turn up. Eventually he came and basically told me that I need a whole new clutch. Lovely!

I was towed back to Morley and left the car at home before Louise & Rich took me back to theirs for tea. We watched Cloverfield on Sky before Louise brought me home!

Should be a nice expense when I get the car fixed now then! Not good!

Terminator : Salvation - Cert 12A

Just got back from a 6pm showing of Terminator : Salvation.

To be honest, I was going into this movie with low expectations. Having heard a few bad reviews I really didn't know what to expect.

So here's a quick update on the Terminator mythology :

**May contain Spoilers...actually...WILL contain Spoilers!**

In the early 21st Century, mankind suffered Judgment Day, the one day where Skynet, a computer system, took over. In the future, Skynet's only threat from the human race was from a man called John Connor who leads the Resistance. So, the Machines sent back the T800 (Arnold Schwarzenegger) to kill John Connor's mum, Sarah. John Connor managed to send back Kyle Reese, a resistance member to protect his mum. Terminator 1 showed this battle, set in 1984. When The T-800 failed to kill Sarah Connor, we moved onto the events of Terminator 2, where a good-version of the T-800, reprogrammed by the future John Connor was sent back in time by John Connor himself, to protect himself back in 1994 from the T-1000, a terminator with the ability to mimic metallic objects. Arnie won, good ruled again. Terminator 3, and another good T-8000 came back to protect both John Connor and Kate Brewster. This time, the T-X was sent back...a female Terminator. We found out that Kate Brewster had indeed sent the T-800 back and not John Connor...as he had killed him in the future! Naturally, they killed the T-X but could not prevent Judgement Day from taking place...


...PHEW!


Right, so now you're up to speed, welcome to Terminator : Salvation. Set in the post-apocalyptic 2018, we catch up with the Resistance led by John Connor. Some believe him to be a false prophet, but some believe the mythology. Also along for the ride is Marcus Wright, a stranger who we see on death row at the very beginning of the movie.

What happens next is spectacular. Loads of explosions, loads of big guns, loads of machines vs humans battles, appearances by characters we know from within the Terminator world, and great in-jokes (you'll know them when you hear them).

Directed by the amazingly named "McG" and starring Christian "I can do no wrong" Bale, Terminator Salvation is a must for all fans of the metallic red-eyed ones. I'm afraid though that I fear that if you're not a massive fan of the three predecessors, it could be a long 115 minutes in the cinema.

In summary, Terminator : Salvation is well worth spending time watching if you're a fan. You will love the action and the step away from the whole "One Bad Terminator Vs One Good Terminator" scene-setting that we've been used to over the years.

I loved it...and with the knowledge that this is the first of 3 films to be released in a new trilogy, I am definitely looking forward to the next part of the Terminator Saga.

I'll Be Back!

Drag Me To Hell - Cert 15

Last night, I managed to "drag" Charlotte (see what I did there?) to the cinema to see Sam Raimi's new horror flick "Drag Me To Hell".

Sam Raimi made his name in the horror genre as writer and director of the cult Evil Dead movies. Anyone who has seen all three Evil Dead films will know that Raimi is known for shocks and laughs in equal measure, but recently, he turned his hand to more mainstream cinema when he directed the three Spiderman flicks. Since 2002, the Spiderman flicks have taken up most of his working life, but now he's back with Drag Me To Hell.

The movie promised to be good right from the first moment I saw the trailer and some wierd old woman sticking a curse on a loan-officer when she refused the old woman an extension on her house, effectively making her homeless...

...but that is just the very start of terrible things to come.

Following an attack in the car park, the curse comes a-calling. Three days is all our heroine has to escape the curse.

What follows is truly scary. A submerging into the paranormal world as the evil spirit torments Christine to the point of insanity in the eyes of others.

I like to say that horror films don't scare me anymore, but Drag Me To Hell certainly dragged me back to the frights. There's a few comedy moments in there too along with a few in-jokes and references (notice that Justin Long, a spokesperson for Apple, is almost always using Apple products!)

It's fun, it's truly scary and it's well worth seeing.

See you in Hell!

Random thoughts

I bet people who talk to themselves, or have invisible friends loved the invention of hands free devices for mobile phones.

I was driving home from work today and in the ten minute journey from work to home, I counted seven people who were sat in their cars, alone, quite clearly talking to someone. Were they on handsfree? Dunno. Were they talking to ghosts or invisible friends? No idea. Were they singing along to the radio? Possibly.

But no longer are mental people who talk to themselves visible...they can just pretend they're on handfree!

Back home...!

Well i've been back in England for just over one week and I think I've finally recovered from the holiday!

I found myself falling asleep on the flight back, as well as during my 3-hour wait in Kings Cross Station and the train back to Leeds. Easter weekend was filled with little snoozes that annoyed Charlotte.

Had a good Easter though and it was great to be back home and back in the arms of the Doddster. We had a quality day out on Sunday at Knowsley Safari Park with the Monkeys climbing all over the car...amazingly, the entire car stayed intact, which was quite amazing as at one point we had 6 baboons running rampant all over it.

Back to work too, oh the joy!

Our Laura signed up for a Mobile phone package last night too where we get a free Nintendo Wii with Wii Fit...so about a year after flogging my Wii to Hamish to fund buying an Xbox, we've got the Wii back. I only wanted to get it with Wii Fit though because me and Charlotte had a go on it at Carli's at the weekend and it's really good fun as well as being great exercise!

WRESTLEMANIA 25

WOW! What a day!

Got up this morning for the Breakfast in the hotel and then just chilled out for most of the day before heading down to the Reliant Stadium about 3pm. Me, Lawlor and Euan met up with Lauren, Gary and Katie down there. We all went into the stadium and went our separate ways as we were all sat in different places...then when I'm sat in my seat, I turn around, and there's Lauren and Gary sat in the seat behind me...how very odd!

The set was awesome, the arena was huge.



The show kicked off with a lumberjack tag-team title unification match in which Carlito and Primo took all four belts. We then had Nicole Scherzinger (or however you spell it) warbling America The Beautiful.

When the show kicked in, the Money In The Bank Ladder Match was the opener on Live TV. It was a typical big-fall, high intensity match and surprisingly, they gave the win to CM Punk!

Next up was a cool performance by Kid Rock which led to the Divas Battle Royal, won in some style, by Santina...Santino's sister...!

Jericho was out next to face Superfly Snuka, Roddy Piper and Ricky Steamboat. Steamboat actually put in a decent performance and I certainly wouldn't begrudge him coming back to the WWE full time! He's still got it.

Typically, Jericho won and then offered on Mickey Rourke who then nailed him in the ring.

Brother Vs Brother next...wow...those two really went crazy on each other. Matt picked up a nice victory after a Twist Of Fate whilst Jeff had a chair wrapped around his neck.

Next up, JBL came out and bad-mouthed Texas, then Rey Mysterio came out and beat him in about 30 seconds leading to JBL quitting the WWE. I think he could be going back to commentary.

Then it came...the best match ever seen in the WWE. It will go down in history as being epic. HBK Vs Undertaker. It was intense and emotional. Back and forth. The arena was going insane by the end of it. People were talking about this match long into the night! Undertaker's streak stayed alive.

Then we had to sit through Cena/Edge/Big Show's match which was half decent with Cena picking up the title with a double F-U, picking them both up!

Then an odd Main Event. HHH vs Orton. Everyone expected Legacy to get involved...they didn't...everyone expexted the McMahon's to screw HHH...they didn't...everyone expected Orton to win...he didn't!

It was a very weak finish to an otherwise awesome show.

I have loads of photos that I have uploaded to Facebook, so check them out on there.

Just gotta start saving for Phoenix, Arizona in 2010 now...!

WM25 - Day 5 - Midday Madness & Hall Of Fame

WOW!

What a day today.

Only managed to get a few hours sleep last night. Got up eventually and me, Lawlor and Euan all jumped in a taxi to the Axxess session that was going on. Did a few of the activities that we'd not yet done and then made our way to the queue for the midday madness meet and greet session.

We were in the queue when in walked Rey Mysterio, Evan Bourne, Mr Kennedy...KENNEDY, Maryse and The Great Khali. Mr Kennedy was on fine form, having a really good laugh putting kids in headlocks and winding up the disabled fans by pretending to ignore them and shouting NEXT.

Here's the photos of me meeting them...
Still can't believe I asked Rey Mysterio if I could wear the kids mask that was on the table...and I still can't believe that it fit over my melon!

All the superstars were awesome and it was one hell of an experiance. So much more fun that the previous year when it was a case of just having whatever you wanted signed passed down the line and you couldn't really have photos with the stars.

Mr Kennedy was by far the funniest of the lot...but we even got the signature of Khali's interpretor! Here's my two t-shirts with all the autographs.
The reason I have two shirts was that I was planning on getting the one on the right signed by everyone over the days...but today I forgot to take the t-shirt down to the Midday Madness so I decided to buy a second shirt, get it signed on the front, then I can hang them up next to each other so I can see both the front and the back and all the signatures.

So, after Midday Madness, we came back to the hotel and got suited and booted and headed out to the Toyota Centre for the 2009 Hall of Fame ceremony. Stone Cold Steve Austin was the main inductee but it was awesome seeing all the stars there as well as all the legends being inducted. This year they had a timer up on the wall so that the stars were not running over like last year when The Rock spoke too much and Ric Flair thanked every single person he has ever met and they had problems editing it for the TV.

After the hall of fame, we all went back to the Hilton and met up with the entire Wolfpack for the first ever Wolfpack awards...I was given the "Best Dancer" award for the Truffle Shuffle and the striptease at the Lawlor Invitational last year.

Then, at the end of the night, Richard Parker got down on one knee and proposed to his girlfriend Sara. She accepted and we all hit the bar to celebrate.

Here's the suited and booted wolfpack :



So with almost everything over, tomorrow is Wrestlemania 25...I cannot wait. Ashley in our group has bought a front row seat from someone and has swapped his old ticket with mine. So now I am going to be sat very close to the ramp...going to be able to get some quality photos!

WM25 - Day 4 - The Wrestling stuff begins!

And so...it begins.

After having plenty of fun for the last few days it was onto the hurty-feety stuff.

We moved across from the Hilton to the Hyatt Regency. The hotel is huge. Check out the view from my floor down to the lobby...

We had to wait around a little before we could check into our rooms.

I love my room though. Very nice indeed.

So today was the beginning of all the Wrestling activities.

We got Jean Michele to take us across to the Reliant Centre for our first Fan Axxess session.

The room we went into was massive. I got in the queue straight away with Katie to queue to meet Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase. It took almost an hour to get to the front of the queue but was worth it for a couple of good photos.

There was a load of other attractions such as the Undertaker's Graveyard with all the tombstones of all his victims, and a section where you could record your own ring entrance and commentary. There were loads of other wrestlers doing signings too, but I didn't queue for them but still got photos from the side.

I got the back of a white Wrestlemania 25 shirt signed by the two guys above, as well as Josh Mathews and Tony Chimel.

After Axxess we went back to the bar and spent the night talking to loads of different people from around the world.

Knackered now though!

WM25 - Day 3 - We're going to the Zoo!

Awesome day today...but very tiring.

Got up this morning, not too early of course and jumped in the Hilton Shuttle across to Houston Zoo. I was surprised that it was only $10 entry, at which point I thought that it was obviously a crap Zoo, but I have to tell you it was awesome. Took so many photos of just about everything in there. We spent a good four hours going around the entire place. We saw Grizzly Bears, Crocodiles, and who can forget the Meerkats...and now everyone is annoying everyone else with the tones of "COMPARE THE MEERKAT...DOT COM!"

After the zoo, we went back to the hotel to get ready before all deciding to head to the cinema to see John Cena's new movie, 12 Rounds. Loved the movie! The action was intense and the story was actually pretty damn good.

After the cinema, we decided to go looking for somewhere to eat but we ended up walking around in huge circles on an hilarious trek around what seemed to be the whole of Texas! We ended up finding a bar with a guy playing guitar and singing and we had a beer before getting Jean Michele, our taxi driver to come and pick us up. He then took us to this awesome restaurant that did Mexican food. It was about 11:30pm and it was still heaving.

Finally got back to the hotel and just basically zonked out for our last night in the Hilton.

WM25 - Day 2 - Out of this world!

After a quality night's sleep, woke up pretty early and caught a load of US Breakfast TV, which was funny as most of the news was from London and the riots and the President visiting Gordon Brown and the Queen...funnily enough, Mrs Obama brought the Queen an iPod...now is it just me or not...but can you really imagine old Queeny dancing around Buck Pal with her iPod cracked up to full, rocking out to Bon Jovi? Actually...nah, forget it...neither can I!


Went and tucked into a hearty fayre courtesy Burger King...$6 for a load of grub...marvellous! French Toast for breakfast...Marvellous!


Then we jumped in a taxi we had booked and took a ride to NASA!


Have you seen the size of the shuttle that was there?

It was absolutely huge and was something that needs to be seen to be believed.


The whole of NASA was awesome, from touching moon rock to seeing what life is like on board the shuttles to even eating some Astronaut Strawberries! I'm bringing some Astonaut food home so it's all good...and tasty...!



We were in NASA for a good 4 hours before heading back to the hotel. We had a few drinks in the bar before Brunning, Penny & Penny, Tipton, Parker and Paddy all turned up from their flight. We all had a few more drinks before heading out for an evening at HOOTERS!


My first ever trip to Hooters was a sight to behold. The food was amazing (even the Hooters Hot Sauce that I chucked down my throat to prove that Northern Boys really are hardcore) and the women were all cute...but it all just made me think about how much I was missing my own little lady who's back in Bradford (heehee, Bingley even eh Charlotte?).


A few of the others headed out after Hooters but some of us just went back to the hotel for another couple of beers and then bed.


Here's the gang at Hooters :

Wrestlemania Holiday Day 1 Continued...

Well...we're officially over in the States.

After sinking a few too many pints in the hotel in London and going to bed way too late for our 4am wake-up time, I emerged from bed ten minutes before the taxi to Heathrow was due. Suffering from a tasty hangover, we all went to Heathrow and Lawlor, Katie, Scott and Ashley all checked in and went on their merry way on a connecting-flight trip to Houston with what was meant to be a short stopover in Chicago which went completely tits up when they had a delay on the first flight.

Myself and Euan tucked into a Wetherspoons breakfast because, as everyone knows, they're the best hangover cures in the entire world!

Onto the Continental flight CO33, and sat near the emergency exit for the extra leg room and we noticed that the stewardesses were all sour-faced...not that I cared as I unclipped the TV after takeoff and dived straight into watching Quantum Of Solace, The Day The Earth Stood Still, High School Musical 3 and finally about 80% of Clerks before our 10hr flight touched down in the good ol' U.S of A.

We then found out that Lawlor and his party weren't making it to Houston for about another 4 hours so me and Euan jumped in the taxi and headed for the Hilton in the Medical Centre region.

My room was lovely...but the room Euan, Lawlor and Ash are sharing is bloody gorgeous. Living room area, big bedroom, two bathrooms...lucky buggers!

Tucked into a healthy meal of Mushroom & Swiss Cheese Steak Burger at Burger King...they have to release these over in England! GORGEOUS!

Lawlor and everyone finally arrived later.

I went to bed about 9pm because I was totally shagged out.

Already missing Charlotte so much but we've texted a few times so it's all good and it'll only be a week until i'm back.

Woke up this morning, watched a tonne of American Breakfast TV which was all about Obama in London and then went to Burger King for breakfast...I think there could be a common BK theme running through this holiday at this rate!

Just in the Business Centre in the hotel now. Gonna be going to NASA real soon...ooooh, I like you schpaceships (that one is for Charlotte x)

See you all on the blog tomorrow

x

Wrestlemania...Day 1

Fascinating things, Trains.

Once upon a time they were steam powered and all you had to entertain you was earwigging on other peoples' conversations...but now, here I am, sat on a National Express train from Leeds to London Kings Cross with my laptop in front of me connected to the train's WiFi connection!

Who would have thunk it?

Leaving Charlotte behind in Leeds was difficult and upsetting but it had to be done. I'm currently talking to Euan on MSN messenger who is going to check in for me online and see if he can get me some extra leg room on the flight...can't beat a bit of extra room for the big pins!

So it's officially started today...the journey to Wrestlemania 25. I've got everything packed, all I need to sort out is the money situation when I get to the Travelex desk ni Heathrow in a few hours time when I'll be able to pick up the $1120 waiting for me there. It will be good to finally have that money in my grubby little hands.

Should be getting into London about ten past one then i'll be jumping on the tube to heathrow underground and then i can pick up the money, go to the hotel and chill out.

Euan just checking in for me now after i gave him my passport number, and all the booking references. Fingers crossed on the big seats!

This train is a very quiet running one...whatever happened to the loud trains of yesteryear? I guess WiFi must make them run smoother! Good connection though. I've told Charlotte. She'll be coming online in a little while.

I wonder what this week has in store. Meeting wrestlers is going to be awesome. The hall of fame will be fantastic and Wrestlemania will be spectacular. But there's the other little things like eating out, and nights out. I'm looking forward to it all.

Just given Euan my Online Visa Waiver confirmation number thingy for the check-in

I wonder where the rest of the people on this train are going? Are they on business? Are they travelling to see friends or family? Are they going on holiday? Who knows?

Woohoo...checked in! More leg room! Get in! It's always better to sprawl a little...and the added bonus of being the first off the plane in an emergency situation is always good!

So until tonight when I might get an update in...ciao!

The Road To Wrestlemania...it's here!

Well well well.

I'm all set.

I've got to pick up my money from Heathrow airport, I've got my passport, my tickets for the three Axxess sessions, my midday madness ticket, my Hall Of Fame ticket, my Monday night Raw ticket, my Wrestlemania ticket.

My bags are almost packed

I'm wearing the Wrestlemania 25 Leeds United shirt I'll be wearing to Wrestlemania!

It's all set to be one hell of a week!

Money, Money erm...wrong money!

Marvellous!

Yesterday I ordered $1120 for the Wrestlemania holiday next week.

Delivery came today and I opened it after work.

Inside was.......600 EUROS!

Great!

Have now had to phone travelex up who have told me that they will be getting back to me tomorrow to sort it out...hope it all goes smoothly because I'm going down to London on Monday!!!

Fattie - be gone!

I am a fat b*****d, most of you know that...but now I'm thinking about my future. I don't wanna be a mid-thirties heart-attack so I'm making a move to stop it.

First step...walking to work...began today. It's a half-hour walk to work and the same return journey. That's one hour a day walking rather than a 5 minute drive.

The next step is obviously to not go to the Ainsleys van when it rolls around to our office at half 10...but i'm going to walk up the road to the sandwich shop and grab myself a ham salad sandwich for lunch.

This time i'm going to do it...any words of encouragement will be a good help...any anyone who wants to abuse, go for it...I don't care!I was 23 stone when I got on the scales a couple of days ago...it has to change!

Back To The Future

Something surreal is happening.

I'm currently reading...a comic!

Much like back when I was a kid when I would collect the Dandy & the Beano comic books and go around to my friend Chris' house and we'd sit around reading them and swapping them and seeing how many we could get through in a day. Then we'd go up to Morley Market, trade them in at the book store for about 20p each and then with the money we had, we'd buy more newer ones to read. It was great. I liked the Bash Street Kids best...in fact there was one called "Teacher's Black Book"...that was my favourite along with one of the Numbskulls one.

Anyway...those days were seemingly long gone...until yesterday when I bought "Watchmen" the 'graphic novel' which has recently been turned into a huge blockbuster movie. Apparently, in circles that I definitely don't belong to, it has long been said that there was no way that Watchmen would ever be turned into a movie because it's quite simply too complex...well here we are.

Now I've never been a huge fan of reading a book before seeing a movie...but for some odd reason, this time it just felt right. Currently about 29 pages in and loving it...will keep reading and hopefully pick up the film next week sometime.

In other movie news, I went on a freebie, courtesy http://www.seefilmfirst.com/ to see Marley & Me with Charlotte at the cinema last week. It's a lovely story starring Jennifer 'I'll always be Rachel from Friends' Aniston and Owen 'bent-nose' Wilson all about family life and the most troublesome dog in the world. Absolutely loved the film and I won't say anything more because I really don't want to spoil what happens...you'll understand when you see it...just go see it!

Currently i'm on a house-sitting week for my friend...well I say house-sitting, it's more Dog-sitting. A house doesn't really need looking after, but if ya don't feed the dog, the dog gets hungry, the dog decides to eat the first thing it sees and I don't fancy that thing being my leg! All is good though, they've got an Xbox so I've just plugged in my Hard Drive and i'm playing like i'm at home...except I have discovered "Fable 2". Oh yes. Absolutely love this game now...gonna get some more hours in on it tonight methinks.

Other news :

• Leeds United up to 5th in League One and all going well...for now! Swindon at the weekend at home so fingers crossed on another 3 points.
• One Fat Spider are at the Cross Keys in Morley on Saturday...might have to be up there for that!
• Work going fantabulous now i'm finally onto my new job as assistant cash forcaster! Oooooh! Get me!
• Me and Charlotte still insanely in love with each other...will this feeling ever wear off? I hope not!
• In 3 weeks time i'll be in Houston, Texas...bring on Wrestlemania...found out that if I queue at Fan Axxess, i'll have the chance of meeting Edge, HHH, HBK, JBL and Batista! How cool is that!

So until the next update...

Adios!

Update-a-plenty

Wow...it's been a while since the Royal Variety Performance...so just what have I been up to since then?

Well Valentines has been and gone, my first one with Charlotte which was really nice. We had a lovely meal down at Billy's Bar at Elland Road.

I've been shortlisted for the new series of 1 Vs 100 so fingers crossed on receiving that final phonecall where I might be able to go to the studios to film.

I'm also attempting to get an idea for a brand new gameshow I have come up with bought by a Production Company in hope that they will take it on and make it into a top show...fingers crossed again on that one!

It's only 46 days now until Wrestlemania 25 in Houston, Texas.

Raw on Monday night was awesome with Shawn Michaels and JBL both looking to go to Wrestlemania to end Undertaker's winning streak, Randy Orton pole-axed Steph McMahon so Triple H came out, finally acknowledgin that they're an item and therefore setting up Triple H vs Orton at Wrestlemania.

Apparently, the WWE have now shipped all the souvenir packages for those people in the States and the International sets are on their way now...can't wait for everything to arrive now!

Well...at least it's Royal!

BBC One tonight...the yearly spectacle that is the Royal Variety Performance. Yeah that's right, the star-studded extravaganza...here's a rundown of what went on.

First up, opening the show were the Pussycat Dolls. Well, we talk about the Pussycat Dolls...when really they should have been called "Nicole Scherzinger and her dancing wenches". Sounding shit live, and looking like slappers...not my cup of tea!

Next up was Graham Norton, the host of the show. Charles and Camilla are in attendance apparently. Norton taking the piss out of hosting the show as well as having a dig at Camilla...quality! Charles was laughing...Camilla was laughing through gritted teeth.

Norton then made way for Michael McIntyre, a comedian I like a lot. He's posh...and he's funny. I'm sure you know the guy.

He did a routine about men and women's roles in the house. Men in the Loft, the Man Draw with absolutely everything in it that will ever be needed in the house...all very, very true.

Still one of the funniest comedians of our time.

Up next was the cast of Disney's The Lion King...now...before you all start thinking "what the fuck? they had a lion on stage with the Prince of Wales sat mere yards away?" don't panic, fear not. It was the cast of the stage show. A stage show that, to be honest, i've always fancied going to see...and seeing them performing their show live tonight made me wanna go see it even more. "Circle of Life" is quite possibly the best song from any Disney film ever...and yes, I mean even better than "Zero To Hero" from Hercules!!!

Next we have the adorable Emma Bunton on stage (she was always my favourite Spice Girl by the way) to introduce "Naturally Seven", introduced as a bunch of guys who make music only using their voices....and WOW...they were awesome. Sounded brilliant. I saw these guys ages ago on This Morning, of all programmes, and they were quality...which was more than could be said for Eamonn Holmes when he tried to do it that morning!

Next up was those two guys from Gavin & Stacey. I don't even need to post up their names because, lets face it, they've been on absolutely everything together so i'm sure you know who they are. The funnier one, the larger one was telling the other one how much he loved him...interesting.

Duffy up next...not a massive fan really. Her voice is alright for one song...but give me more than that and I think I would be scratching my face...nice legs though!

Brian May and Kerry Ellis from Wicked, the West End show were up next. Now I have to say that I went to see Wicked in the West End a while ago with my friends and I loved it. This song performed on this show, "Defying Gravity" was at a really pivotal point of the show and was an amazing moment in the production. I would highly recommend going to see it if you get the chance.

Although...the performance on the show tonight wasn't as good as the version that's in the show on stage.

Rod Gilbert up next. Never heard of him...but I have seen him loads of times on panel shows. He's a Welsh comedian and his act consists of taking the piss out of being Welsh. Was actually quite funny. Taking the piss out of Charles and he was playing along, which is always good to see.

Following his bow to the royals, he was replaced by Tom Daly, some diving kid from the Olympics. He was out to introduce the winner of Britain's Got Talent, George Sampson. God I hate this kid. He certainly can dance but he thinks he's proper street and soooooooooo annoying. Loves himself so bloody much. ..although there was one moment in the middle of it where he broke through a window...that looked quite good. It's all about the show with this kind of performance and that was actually quite good...i'll give him his dues on that.

Myleene Klass up next...awww, the lovely Myleene. So gorgeous! I remember getting a kiss on the cheek off her when I met her when we played "Your Country Needs You" up at BBC Scotland nearly 2 years ago now.

But then from one talented woman to another one...whom I cannot stand! Yup...Rihanna out on stage next. Am I the only one in the country who cannot bear to listen to her voice? It goes straight through me!

Jimmy Tarbuck up next...dear lord...is he still going? Although I guess it is Royal Variety. I wonder where Bruce Forsyth is tonight! Ah well...Tarbuck introduced the legendary Cliff Richard and The Shadows......hang on...how is Cliff not headlining? Surely he's got to be the biggest act in this entire show? There was some seriously white teeth on show! Although his voice sounded a little weak...but he is about 90 years old so I guess he can be forgiven! His dancing was something to behold though.

So how do you follow that? Well you bring out some male comedy Ballet Dancers of course....nothing spectacular really...more of a time-filler...but it's better than the usual offering of tribal dancers I guess...

As they leave the stage, up come the judges from Strictly Come Dancing...what are the chances on Len Goodman shouting "SEVEN"...ah, no he didn't do it! Boooooo

The cast of Jersey Boys up now. A show about the rise to fame of Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons. Looked quite good to be honest. Although was it just me that thought they were miming?

Our next act on stage is Josh Hartnett...haha...i've met him in a bar in Leeds...anyway...he introduced John Barrowman...well, what would the Royal Variety be without Barrowman?

He sung a song...and I have to admit...I thought it was quite good. It was called "What About Us" and I think that by the end of the night I will probably download his album...now that is sad!

Captain Jack made way for Rebecca Adlington...that swimmer woman with the big nose to come on and introduce Leona Lewis...dear lord!

I'm not currently sat in the same room as my Dad but I know he's now probably covering his ears as Leona warbles through "Run". She is so god-damned boring it's unbelievable.

Brendan Fraser up next, minus the Mummy's, to introduce a couple of comedians dressed up as a couple of fighter pilots during the war...not very funny at all.

Now we get Christine Blakely and Adrien Chiles (oh whatever he's called) from The One Show. They introduced the cast of Zorro.....hmm, think i'll gladly give this one a miss...another one that's not really my cup of tea...but i guess it's variety so there's gotta be a bit for everyone ain't there?

Jimmy Carr was up next. He's another i can give and take. Someone I ain't sure whether is naturally funny or not. I'd actually heard all the jokes before.

Connie Fisher (Maria from Sound Of Music) and John Barrowman (the guy from the show that found her) came on next to introduce Josh Grobin and the choir from that talent show! Nothing amazing.

But now.........it's time for GERALDINE! Oh yes!

Peter Kay's new character miming to "My Winning Song" and the Christmas song he/she has released. Peter Kay has totally lost his shine for me. But I'll talk about that in a whole blog dedicated to just him! The judges dressed as Jack In The Boxes though...nice touch.

Peter Geraldine now introduced the next act....TAKE THAT...now they are quality performers. Their best song in my opinion is Shine. They kicked off tonight with Greatest Day...one of their weaker efforts in my humble opinion. Still...they were singing live and sounding great.

Last up, Andrew Lloyd Webber introduced Graham Norton in La Cag Aux Folles


So there we have it...the Royal Variety Performance 2008. Looking forward to next year now...

Bauer, Cena, Edge and Christmas

Bit of a bumper package for you today, which may contain a few spoilers if you ain't seen 24 : Redemption or WWE Survivor Series...

Been a manic week.

Firstly, lets just all revel in the welcoming back of a screen legend in Jack Bauer. Oh yes, 24 was back with a 2-hour prequel to the new season and it didn't fail to deliver. He dodged bullets, survived a torturing, saved a whole village of kids, watched his best friend sacrifice himself, shot numerous guys with one bullet each...and all within two real-time hours! No-one messes with Jack Bauer.

So now onto the WWE. Sunday was Survivor Series night and it happened. The inevitable occurred. For weeks now, the WWE have been building up a huge comeback for John Cena...in his hometown...facing Jericho for the title...and, well i'll let you guess what happened next.

But the biggest shock came in the match prior to the main event. Triple H Vs Vladimir Koslov (bet you can't tell which country he's from with a name like that) and when everyone was down and out...who came running to the ring? EDGE! I'd been talking to someone at work last week and said "I wonder when Edge will be back" and here he is...picking up the title! Sweet! I've always been an Edge-head.

According to the adverts on TV, "holidays are coming, holidays are coming" and apparently so is Coca Cola...but I thought that had been here ages! Aye, Christmas is upon us...just one whole calendar month away from the pinnacle of the festive season. And as today was payday...guess what I did? Nope, I didn't go down the pub for the usual payday piss-up which usually leads to terrible hangovers and even worse Karaoke singing...nope, I actually went out and did my Christmas shopping! That's right. I usually leave it until Christmas Eve, and in previous years have managed to do it in a manic 18 1/2 minutes in the White Rose, but here I am...prepared! What the hell is wrong with me?

All I need to do now is wrap them all up...i'm crap at wrapping. I've seen better wrapped Mummies! Should be fun!

So until next time...have fun, get your christmas shoopping done and I'll see you a few days closer to Santa's arrival!

Lights On!

Last night was the highlight of the year in terms of entertainment. Nope, not the grand opening £20million party at the Atlantis Hotel in Dubai with guests such as Kylie Minogue performing...last night was the official turning on of Morley's lights.

Yup, in the freezing cold and blustery wind, I ventured up to the front of Morley Town Hall with Charlotte and my sister Louise (the eldest one because the younger sister didn't want to go...she's obviously "too cool" for something of this stature!). We managed to get right to the very front which, to be honest, wasn't very hard. Magic 828 were in charge for the evening with Glenn Pinder and his motley crew helping him out.

We had numerous "acts" performing for the evening. First up was a young girl dancing...boring. Second up was another young girl dancing...boring, next up were a "professional tumbling act" who had apparantly performed on Britain's Got Talent. Did you see them? Nope, probably not because they were shite.

Then we had a girl from Bruntcliffe High come out and sing a song which was quite good, then another lad from there sung "Shine" by Take That.

Then the real celebrities turned up...first of all we had Ronnie Rhino, the peanut-hugging mascot of Leeds Rhinos. He did a little dance which, to be honest was better than the two kids from earlier. Then out came Johnny Howson and Frazer Richardson, the Leeds United players who received at least a decent pop from the Morley crowd. Then out came the "surprise" Celebrity. So...usually we get a star from Emmerdale...and recently Eli Dingle has moved to Morley...so who did they get to help turn on Morley lights? The guy who plays Bill Webster in Corrie! Rock and bloody roll!

So the lights went on, the fireworks blew up and were actually quite impressive and then Howson and Richardson came around and posed with everyone who wanted/cared about having a photo with them. Charlotte got her photo with both of them and I got one with Richardson.

All in all, it was a fun night, very cold, but interesting all the same and according to Howson we're going to "do 'em" on Saturday in reference to Hartlepool at the weekend.

Celebrity? A definition...

ce⋅leb⋅ri⋅ty

 
–noun

1.	a famous or well-known person.

2.	fame; renown.

So there you go. The definition of Celebrity as offered by dictionary.com on the old World Wide Web. A celebrity is a famous, or well-known person. Kind of a broad description don't you think? A lot of people know Saddam Hussain...but was he a celebrity? My e-mail address book is bulging, but does that mean I can tread the red carpet at the next "celebrity party"? No of course it doesn't.

What does the word 'celebrity' conjour up to you? Do you think of your favourite footballer, singer, actor...politician? Politicians are well known people and indeed are famous, but would you look at Gordon Brown and point and exclaim "there goes a celeb"? I very much doubt it.

As the latest series of "I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here" hits the TV screens I bet most people in the country have sat back and thought "why the hell are they classed as celebrities?"

This year they've chucked in a gay ex-cop, an ex-eastender, a WAG, a glamour model who no-one has heard of, the disgraced chat show host, an actor who hasn't done much of any notability for the last 20 years, an aged tennis player, an ages tv presenter, another tv presenter who ain't done anything in about ten years and the list goes on.

Everyone's definition of "Celebrity" is different. But one thing is for sure, they're actually bloody entertaining this year. George Takei is hilarious, Jo Swash is getting put forward for everything, the cop hates Kilroy and will no doubt end up sparking huge arguments, Carly is pretty cute, and hopefully this year will be as entertaining as ever before.

So Celebrity...anyone well known.

Just call me Celebrity Dave!