Wednesday, 17 December 2008

Well...at least it's Royal!

BBC One tonight...the yearly spectacle that is the Royal Variety Performance. Yeah that's right, the star-studded extravaganza...here's a rundown of what went on.

First up, opening the show were the Pussycat Dolls. Well, we talk about the Pussycat Dolls...when really they should have been called "Nicole Scherzinger and her dancing wenches". Sounding shit live, and looking like slappers...not my cup of tea!

Next up was Graham Norton, the host of the show. Charles and Camilla are in attendance apparently. Norton taking the piss out of hosting the show as well as having a dig at Camilla...quality! Charles was laughing...Camilla was laughing through gritted teeth.

Norton then made way for Michael McIntyre, a comedian I like a lot. He's posh...and he's funny. I'm sure you know the guy.

He did a routine about men and women's roles in the house. Men in the Loft, the Man Draw with absolutely everything in it that will ever be needed in the house...all very, very true.

Still one of the funniest comedians of our time.

Up next was the cast of Disney's The Lion King...now...before you all start thinking "what the fuck? they had a lion on stage with the Prince of Wales sat mere yards away?" don't panic, fear not. It was the cast of the stage show. A stage show that, to be honest, i've always fancied going to see...and seeing them performing their show live tonight made me wanna go see it even more. "Circle of Life" is quite possibly the best song from any Disney film ever...and yes, I mean even better than "Zero To Hero" from Hercules!!!

Next we have the adorable Emma Bunton on stage (she was always my favourite Spice Girl by the way) to introduce "Naturally Seven", introduced as a bunch of guys who make music only using their voices....and WOW...they were awesome. Sounded brilliant. I saw these guys ages ago on This Morning, of all programmes, and they were quality...which was more than could be said for Eamonn Holmes when he tried to do it that morning!

Next up was those two guys from Gavin & Stacey. I don't even need to post up their names because, lets face it, they've been on absolutely everything together so i'm sure you know who they are. The funnier one, the larger one was telling the other one how much he loved him...interesting.

Duffy up next...not a massive fan really. Her voice is alright for one song...but give me more than that and I think I would be scratching my face...nice legs though!

Brian May and Kerry Ellis from Wicked, the West End show were up next. Now I have to say that I went to see Wicked in the West End a while ago with my friends and I loved it. This song performed on this show, "Defying Gravity" was at a really pivotal point of the show and was an amazing moment in the production. I would highly recommend going to see it if you get the chance.

Although...the performance on the show tonight wasn't as good as the version that's in the show on stage.

Rod Gilbert up next. Never heard of him...but I have seen him loads of times on panel shows. He's a Welsh comedian and his act consists of taking the piss out of being Welsh. Was actually quite funny. Taking the piss out of Charles and he was playing along, which is always good to see.

Following his bow to the royals, he was replaced by Tom Daly, some diving kid from the Olympics. He was out to introduce the winner of Britain's Got Talent, George Sampson. God I hate this kid. He certainly can dance but he thinks he's proper street and soooooooooo annoying. Loves himself so bloody much. ..although there was one moment in the middle of it where he broke through a window...that looked quite good. It's all about the show with this kind of performance and that was actually quite good...i'll give him his dues on that.

Myleene Klass up next...awww, the lovely Myleene. So gorgeous! I remember getting a kiss on the cheek off her when I met her when we played "Your Country Needs You" up at BBC Scotland nearly 2 years ago now.

But then from one talented woman to another one...whom I cannot stand! Yup...Rihanna out on stage next. Am I the only one in the country who cannot bear to listen to her voice? It goes straight through me!

Jimmy Tarbuck up next...dear lord...is he still going? Although I guess it is Royal Variety. I wonder where Bruce Forsyth is tonight! Ah well...Tarbuck introduced the legendary Cliff Richard and The Shadows......hang on...how is Cliff not headlining? Surely he's got to be the biggest act in this entire show? There was some seriously white teeth on show! Although his voice sounded a little weak...but he is about 90 years old so I guess he can be forgiven! His dancing was something to behold though.

So how do you follow that? Well you bring out some male comedy Ballet Dancers of course....nothing spectacular really...more of a time-filler...but it's better than the usual offering of tribal dancers I guess...

As they leave the stage, up come the judges from Strictly Come Dancing...what are the chances on Len Goodman shouting "SEVEN"...ah, no he didn't do it! Boooooo

The cast of Jersey Boys up now. A show about the rise to fame of Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons. Looked quite good to be honest. Although was it just me that thought they were miming?

Our next act on stage is Josh Hartnett...haha...i've met him in a bar in Leeds...anyway...he introduced John Barrowman...well, what would the Royal Variety be without Barrowman?

He sung a song...and I have to admit...I thought it was quite good. It was called "What About Us" and I think that by the end of the night I will probably download his album...now that is sad!

Captain Jack made way for Rebecca Adlington...that swimmer woman with the big nose to come on and introduce Leona Lewis...dear lord!

I'm not currently sat in the same room as my Dad but I know he's now probably covering his ears as Leona warbles through "Run". She is so god-damned boring it's unbelievable.

Brendan Fraser up next, minus the Mummy's, to introduce a couple of comedians dressed up as a couple of fighter pilots during the war...not very funny at all.

Now we get Christine Blakely and Adrien Chiles (oh whatever he's called) from The One Show. They introduced the cast of Zorro.....hmm, think i'll gladly give this one a miss...another one that's not really my cup of tea...but i guess it's variety so there's gotta be a bit for everyone ain't there?

Jimmy Carr was up next. He's another i can give and take. Someone I ain't sure whether is naturally funny or not. I'd actually heard all the jokes before.

Connie Fisher (Maria from Sound Of Music) and John Barrowman (the guy from the show that found her) came on next to introduce Josh Grobin and the choir from that talent show! Nothing amazing.

But now.........it's time for GERALDINE! Oh yes!

Peter Kay's new character miming to "My Winning Song" and the Christmas song he/she has released. Peter Kay has totally lost his shine for me. But I'll talk about that in a whole blog dedicated to just him! The judges dressed as Jack In The Boxes though...nice touch.

Peter Geraldine now introduced the next act....TAKE THAT...now they are quality performers. Their best song in my opinion is Shine. They kicked off tonight with Greatest Day...one of their weaker efforts in my humble opinion. Still...they were singing live and sounding great.

Last up, Andrew Lloyd Webber introduced Graham Norton in La Cag Aux Folles


So there we have it...the Royal Variety Performance 2008. Looking forward to next year now...

Tuesday, 25 November 2008

Bauer, Cena, Edge and Christmas

Bit of a bumper package for you today, which may contain a few spoilers if you ain't seen 24 : Redemption or WWE Survivor Series...

Been a manic week.

Firstly, lets just all revel in the welcoming back of a screen legend in Jack Bauer. Oh yes, 24 was back with a 2-hour prequel to the new season and it didn't fail to deliver. He dodged bullets, survived a torturing, saved a whole village of kids, watched his best friend sacrifice himself, shot numerous guys with one bullet each...and all within two real-time hours! No-one messes with Jack Bauer.

So now onto the WWE. Sunday was Survivor Series night and it happened. The inevitable occurred. For weeks now, the WWE have been building up a huge comeback for John Cena...in his hometown...facing Jericho for the title...and, well i'll let you guess what happened next.

But the biggest shock came in the match prior to the main event. Triple H Vs Vladimir Koslov (bet you can't tell which country he's from with a name like that) and when everyone was down and out...who came running to the ring? EDGE! I'd been talking to someone at work last week and said "I wonder when Edge will be back" and here he is...picking up the title! Sweet! I've always been an Edge-head.

According to the adverts on TV, "holidays are coming, holidays are coming" and apparently so is Coca Cola...but I thought that had been here ages! Aye, Christmas is upon us...just one whole calendar month away from the pinnacle of the festive season. And as today was payday...guess what I did? Nope, I didn't go down the pub for the usual payday piss-up which usually leads to terrible hangovers and even worse Karaoke singing...nope, I actually went out and did my Christmas shopping! That's right. I usually leave it until Christmas Eve, and in previous years have managed to do it in a manic 18 1/2 minutes in the White Rose, but here I am...prepared! What the hell is wrong with me?

All I need to do now is wrap them all up...i'm crap at wrapping. I've seen better wrapped Mummies! Should be fun!

So until next time...have fun, get your christmas shoopping done and I'll see you a few days closer to Santa's arrival!

Friday, 21 November 2008

Lights On!

Last night was the highlight of the year in terms of entertainment. Nope, not the grand opening £20million party at the Atlantis Hotel in Dubai with guests such as Kylie Minogue performing...last night was the official turning on of Morley's lights.

Yup, in the freezing cold and blustery wind, I ventured up to the front of Morley Town Hall with Charlotte and my sister Louise (the eldest one because the younger sister didn't want to go...she's obviously "too cool" for something of this stature!). We managed to get right to the very front which, to be honest, wasn't very hard. Magic 828 were in charge for the evening with Glenn Pinder and his motley crew helping him out.

We had numerous "acts" performing for the evening. First up was a young girl dancing...boring. Second up was another young girl dancing...boring, next up were a "professional tumbling act" who had apparantly performed on Britain's Got Talent. Did you see them? Nope, probably not because they were shite.

Then we had a girl from Bruntcliffe High come out and sing a song which was quite good, then another lad from there sung "Shine" by Take That.

Then the real celebrities turned up...first of all we had Ronnie Rhino, the peanut-hugging mascot of Leeds Rhinos. He did a little dance which, to be honest was better than the two kids from earlier. Then out came Johnny Howson and Frazer Richardson, the Leeds United players who received at least a decent pop from the Morley crowd. Then out came the "surprise" Celebrity. So...usually we get a star from Emmerdale...and recently Eli Dingle has moved to Morley...so who did they get to help turn on Morley lights? The guy who plays Bill Webster in Corrie! Rock and bloody roll!

So the lights went on, the fireworks blew up and were actually quite impressive and then Howson and Richardson came around and posed with everyone who wanted/cared about having a photo with them. Charlotte got her photo with both of them and I got one with Richardson.

All in all, it was a fun night, very cold, but interesting all the same and according to Howson we're going to "do 'em" on Saturday in reference to Hartlepool at the weekend.

Wednesday, 19 November 2008

Celebrity? A definition...

ce⋅leb⋅ri⋅ty


–noun
1. a famous or well-known person.
2. fame; renown.

So there you go. The definition of Celebrity as offered by dictionary.com on the old World Wide Web. A celebrity is a famous, or well-known person. Kind of a broad description don't you think? A lot of people know Saddam Hussain...but was he a celebrity? My e-mail address book is bulging, but does that mean I can tread the red carpet at the next "celebrity party"? No of course it doesn't.

What does the word 'celebrity' conjour up to you? Do you think of your favourite footballer, singer, actor...politician? Politicians are well known people and indeed are famous, but would you look at Gordon Brown and point and exclaim "there goes a celeb"? I very much doubt it.

As the latest series of "I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here" hits the TV screens I bet most people in the country have sat back and thought "why the hell are they classed as celebrities?"

This year they've chucked in a gay ex-cop, an ex-eastender, a WAG, a glamour model who no-one has heard of, the disgraced chat show host, an actor who hasn't done much of any notability for the last 20 years, an aged tennis player, an ages tv presenter, another tv presenter who ain't done anything in about ten years and the list goes on.

Everyone's definition of "Celebrity" is different. But one thing is for sure, they're actually bloody entertaining this year. George Takei is hilarious, Jo Swash is getting put forward for everything, the cop hates Kilroy and will no doubt end up sparking huge arguments, Carly is pretty cute, and hopefully this year will be as entertaining as ever before.

So Celebrity...anyone well known.

Just call me Celebrity Dave!

Saturday, 25 October 2008

Saddle Up!











Leeds United Vs Walsall FC
Elland Road
Saturday 25th October 2008.

The windy-chill factor from Tuesday night remained, playing havoc with Becchio's hair, and Douglas suffering too. Beckford and Becchio opted to join the "Neil Kilkenny Long Sleeve Shirt" club whereas the rest of the players braved the cold. Casper the Ghost replaced Lucas The Kop Cat in goal.

They won the flip of the fifty-pence-piece and it was switcheroo time as the Saddlers opted to aim South in the first. Ince, in goal for the away team goaded the fans at every opportunity, even encouraging them to give the customary "Wooooooooooooooooooaaaaahhhhhhh You Shit Bastard!"

There was a load of rubbbish on the pitch...and I'm not talking about the players. Crisp packets, carrier bags, you name it.

Leeds began the brightest. But were mainly restricted to long-range efforts as the Walsall back line stood firm in the face of an attack. Kilkenny had a great offort go just wide and Delph tried his luck but no matter how much Leeds pressed, they couldn't force a goal.

Halftime was greeted, wrongly by a few boos from the Leeds fans who may have been frustrated at the lack of goals.

After eating my bag of Haribo (Starmix if you were wondering), and reading the wise words of Uncle Ken in the programme, the second hald begun.

Leeds got stuck straight into their opponents, forcing a corner from the restart after Beckford charged straight at the Walsall defence. The resulting corner ended with a cross being mishandled by the defence and Luciano Becchio forced the ball into the back of the net.

Leeds United 1-0 Walsall - 46 minutes

The Leeds fans were now in high spirits and, not letting the cold get to them perked up even more when Andy Robinson emerged from the bench, replaced Kilkenny, trotted straight over and hit a corker of a free kick which was deflected over the bar.

Not long after, another free kick on the right and Robinson played it short to Delph who, from the edge of the box, hit a belter which curled straight into the top left corner.

Leeds 2-0 Walsall - 65 minutes

Leeds remained in control for the rest of the game and never looked too threatened by a Walsall strikeforce that included the Ex-Leeds player Michael Ricketts. He was always in for some stick and when he had an awesome chance to put one away for them, he put the ball wide.

I actually missed the next goal shamefully. Just before Delph smacked in another one, one of the disabled fans in the west stand took a ball straight to the face. I hope the guy was alright. As I watched a medical team taking him out, apparently Delph scored his second.

Final Score
Leeds 3-0 Walsall.

With other results going our way...here's how the League Table looks now...




HomeAway
PosTeamPWDLFAWDLFAGDPTS
1Scunthorpe13511136411147+1429
2Leeds United1351116831298+926
3Millwall134111074121310+626
4Leicester City1232184420124+1225
5MK Dons13403138312127+1022
6Peterborough1342117822288+922
7Oldham13420165223912+822
8Tranmere13403139312910+322
9Stockport1313268430115+421
10Southend13411842231317021
11Bristol Rovers1441217101421213+620
12Hartlepool13421201320458+420
13Walsall13303121123289018
14Northampton13330115124812+217
15Swindon Town133041113132810-415
16Colchester13124893031415-214
17Carlisle133121411115615-614
18Brighton130425923288-413
19Huddersfield131239122231014-713
20Yeovil Town1215199104313-1011
21Cheltenham143131214016722-1711
22Leyton Orient13123510124410-1110
23Hereford1322366015214-129
24Crewe132131112016619-148

Wednesday, 22 October 2008

The Beautiful Game

Twas a chilly evening, Tuesday 21st. The wind swirled with vicious intent and the darkening skies threatened the chance of waterfall from the clouds. The police upon their mounted steeds keeping their watchful eye over the hooligans of the footballing world (if you would believe the constabularies from around this fine country of ours.)

Almost nineteen thousand men, women, children, and whatever goes in-between pushed their way through the turnstiles, purchased their snacks and bovrils and took up their seats in anticipation of the footballing spectacle that lay before them.

At 19:42 the players emerged from the tunnel, the Leeds players spurred on by all their fans, the O's given a slight boost by the twenty-or-so fans stuck in the corner top end. After the mascots received their customary photograph, to be cherished forever more on their bedroom walls, the play began. Leeds kicking from near to far as I stood.

I'd taken up position beside my fine woman for the match, a spare seat next to her became mine for the evening.

Changes to the side had been made. Youngter Parker in place of young White, Telfer took over from Marques and Howson and Hughes had a switcheroo due to the latter being injured.

The home team had the perfect opportunity to take it upon themselves to snatch a lead when Parker's effort upon goal struck the outstretched arm of one of the Leyton defensive line. The match was only ten minutes old when Beckford placed the ball on the penalty spot, stepped up, slipped up and wellied the ball over the top of the goal.

Thirty six minutes had elapsed when the deadlock broke in disappointing fashion. Dean Morgan curled a low strike around the outstretched arm of Lucas as the ball hit the back of the net.

United 0-1 The O's

Twas not too long though until the Whites and their fans could delight in a goal. A quick break, a ball spread out to the right, a Beckford cross, a Becchio pressure, a defender's touch that lifted the ball over his own keeper for the equaliser.

The Whites 1-1 Orient

With half time quickly upon us and everyone settling for a 1-1 halftime scoreline, many people made their way into either the bar for a pint, the stands for a pie or the toilets...for a cigarette! But any trigger-happy-leavers were made to rue their decision to give into their cravings when a solid header from the Argentinan-blonde Luciano Becchio landed in the onion-bag and Leeds were in the lead.

Leeds 2-1 Leyton

The half-time whistle was greeted with joy from 99.9% of the people inside the stadium. Some lad from the Revie stepped onto the pitch in the hope of bagging some special keepsakes but had to settle for the DAB radio. I hope that chap keeps tuned to Bates FM for the rest of his days...a prize well received.

With everyone fed, watered and nicotened, the second half began just fifteen minutes after the first concluded.

No goals were witnessed in the second forty-five but Becchio hit the bar, Beckford hit the bar, Beckford hit the post, Beckford had a great shot saved. You get the idea there.

As the full time whistle blew and the fans cheered in victory, and the O's supporters planned to return all the way down the M1, Leeds were confirmed as moving up to 4th in the league.

Bring on the Walsall the fans cry. Elland Road...Saturday...see you there!

Tuesday, 21 October 2008

All aboard the (Leyton) Orient Express...

Tonight, Leyton Orient steam "oop north" from the nation's capital to face the mighty Leeds United at Elland Road.
















Gone are the days of getting excited about Arsenal and Scum United coming to town. They have been replaced by the reality of the likes of the O's and the MK Dons having their cup final whilst playing against Leeds.

Some of them will get their glory, much like Millwall at their's on Saturday gone. But many more will fall at the hands of a team that doesn't belong where it is.


But that's the mentality ain't it? We're Leeds United and we belong in the Premiership. Earlier this year we had the chance to take a step back towards where we "should" be, but the team decided not to bother playing well against Donny in another Playoff Final, much like the same as two years before when Watford took the spoils at the Millennium Stadium.


The fact of the matter is that at the moment, we're a League 1 team and until May, that is not going to change. So we can dream about playing Chelsea and Liverpool as much as we want, but unless we draw them in the cup, the only teams we need to worry about are Stockport County and Yeovil Town.


But on the upside...at least we'll get to play Spurs and the Toon Army next year...

Monday, 20 October 2008

"I'll never go to Wrestlemania"...Part 1

Since I was a kid, I was a WWE fan. Not a wrestling fan, just WWE. I could never get into the likes of WCW, even though it would play on Channel 5 towards the end of it's lifetime, and over here in the UK, we never had proper access to ECW. My Dad once took me to see "the wrestling" at Rothwell Sports Centre and I remember thinking it was OK, but it was nothing like I'd seen on TV...although I did manage to buy a cool Undertaker caricature picture which ended up stuck to my bedroom wall for years!

A guy who lived on our street used to record all the PPVs for me every month and bring them over on cassette tape (remember those?) and I would get my mate Chris around and we'd watch whatever was happening.

I will always remember watching the Summerslam that took place at Wembley Stadium when the British Bulldog, who was naturally a favourite of mine due to the fact that he came from England, bundled Earthquake and Typhoon over the top rope in a Battle Royale to win the title (I think...).

I was hooked from a very young age and would love watching Undertaker and Hulk Hogan go at it. Chris and I would even make our own Top Trumps, drawing each wrestler's logo on a square piece of paper and then giving them the attributes that we thought they deserved. We would play with those for hours on end.

But then the novelty wore off after a few years and it became "uncool" to be watching the WWE and I stopped completely.

But back in 2000, my sister's boyfriend-at-the-time Kev got me back into watching and I was away again. I would annoy my parents by putting it on TV at any available opportunity. Naturally, they hated it.

"What a load of rubbish!" they would say and laugh when someone was fake-punching someone else. But I didn't watch it for all the fake punches. I watched it for the entertainment. The excitement, the spectacle...and when it comes to spectacles in the WWE, there's nothing greater than Wrestlemania. The one night a year when I would make sure I stayed up through the night to watch the PPV live. There was no recording of Wrestlemania. Not if you were a hardcore fan. Oh no. It was all about watching that event live.

Wrestlemania was always one of those events that I dreamed of attending. It looks magnificent on the screen and I always thought that the people in attendance were the luckiest sons-of-bitched in the world.

And then something happened...I won £15,000 on Are You Smarter Than A Ten Year Old (which you can watch by clicking here). I had £15k sat in my bank account for a split second and I knew what I wanted to spend a healthy portion on. I rang around some friends, but no-one could afford, or even wanted to come with me. Wrestlemania 24 was coming around in 6 months time...and I could afford to go. I got hold of a package application form just one week before time was up to apply and I sent it. A day later I was graced with confirmation and I was going to the grand-daddy of them all. Wrestlemania 24 in Orlando, Florida.



To be continued...

Sunday, 19 October 2008

Keyboard Warriors

Well last night was...erm...entertaining.

Late on, I hit WACCOE, the Leeds United forums and did a little blog-promotion. One of the reasons was that yesterday's blog was nicely about Leeds United and the match yesterday.

And what happened? Well as usually happens on internet forums nowadays...the Keyboard Warrior took over.

What is a Keyboard Warrior I hear you ask?

Is this a Keyboard Warrior :
Well kinda.

Basically, a Keyboard Warrior is someone who sits in front of their monitor and decides that it is fun/productive/clever/hard (delete as appropriate) to go beyond the levels of banter and actually begin abusing people

It actually began on Page 3 of what is now up to Page 7. The culprit was a poster called "Repoman". And his first comment on the thread was in a reply to one of mine in which he wrote "You strike me as someone who needs to find out who he is". Instantly contributing nothing of any interest to the thread. Nothing in relation to blog which the thread was about but instantly just posting direct at me in a derogatory manner, which he backed that up by slagging off another poster by basically branding him as Gay!

But this abuse escalated and continued.

I am on WACCOE and as stated previously, wind people up. In fact, then I even said that on the actual thread, he continued to feed my sense of humour.

Another post said "Try getting a g/f or something, it'd be a start"

When I told him I had a girlfriend, his only comment in return was "Is she as fat as you?". We're really crossing over into Keyboard Warrior-dom now.

In total respect to other posters on there, they did lay into him after this comment and he disappeared into the oblivion of the internet...but I expect him to rear his ugly head somewhere down the line.

Keyboard Warriors OUT!

Saturday, 18 October 2008

Who'd be a football fan eh?

It was always gonna be a tough week.

My beloved Leeds United were residing in 4th place in League one prior to kickoff today and with 4 matches in ten days to contend with, things were set to come thick and fast. The four teams we were set to face were sat in 5th, 20th, 8th & 9th respectively. So every single match was going to be tough.

This afternoon, prior to kick off, I went down to Subway at Elland Road with Charlotte for something to snack on. Looking out of the window was the beautiful Elland Road stadium peering back. From the Subway shop, you can only really see the back of the South Stand and Billy's Bar, but through the gap, you can see the stadium.

Every time I see the stadium I give the salute. Leeds fans will know exactly what I am talking about. It's the sense of pride when you come off the M621 and see the stadium, or indeed come from the opposite direction and pass under the railway bridge.

As we were leaving Subway, on the way back up to Morley with a belly full of Meatball Marinara (footlong, italian herb & cheese bread, cheese both sides, lettuce, cucumber, tomato, red onion, jalapenos) we saw John McClelland, taking a large group around the stadium on the tour. As we went past, I wound down the window and yelled "LEEDS! LEEDS! LEEDS" with the salute out of the window too. John gave a wave.

Listened to the match on LUTV and to be honest, was very disappointed. Millwall seemingly outplayed us for most of the match and I can only recall two chances of Leeds'. We lost 3-1!

But I guess with three matches to go in the next week and half we've gotta hope the team get their heads down and take on the Orient, Walsall and Southend with as much pride as many of the fan show!

LEEDS! LEEDS! LEEDS!

In other news...I played a game of Fifa '09 online against one of the WACCOE faithful....I lost about 6-0...rather bloody shameful.

Thursday, 16 October 2008

One small step for man...



So here I am, sat in my bedroom...well...I say sat, but I'm actually laid on my bed, stomach-down, which is probably not the greatest idea seeing as though I've been suffering from a bad back since Monday which has almost crippled me into an old-man-like shape around the office. You should have seen me (and if you work with me, you probably ain't been able to miss me). It took me an age to shuffle across the office to the printer and back the twenty-seven times I had to go pick up some invoicing or other print that I had produced. Apparently I'm going to be getting a printer on my desk which will help things. But I do have to stress that the desk-printer isn't as a result of the bad back. That was something that was agreed last week to make life easier with the invoicing.


But anyway, so I’m laid here aggravating the bad back, typing a blog and MSN-ing my girlfriend Charlotte all at the same time as looking around my room and thinking "holy shit I need to tidy up". I am positioned in the far corner of a room which couldn't possibly look more untidy. In fact, if a tornado ripped through this room now, the resulting debris would actually be tidier than it currently is...and who knows, I might find some Munchkins at the end of a Yellow Brick Road underneath all the scattered DVDs and wires and random sheets of paper, which could be anything from reminders of bills to Xbox game instruction manuals.


I will tidy it...I promise...and I'm even going to keep you updated in Blog-ville about the progress of the room. Hell, I might even document it with photos and show you just how much of a state it is in. Although that ain't gonna happen tonight because a) my camera is in another room and b) I’m too lazy to drag my arse off this bed and across all the rubble in the room to go and get it. It is actually like the obstacle course on Krypton Factor getting from one side of the room to the other. I keep expecting to end up emerging in a studio and having to go fit together some wacky jigsaw or fly a Boing-747 into a field 100-yards wide of a computerized runway each and every time I cross the room.


I just twisted my body to look across my room to check whether Gordon Burns was sat at a desk at the far side, and my back twanged again. I don’t think I should be in this position for very much longer!


Charlotte has logged offline now so I’m stuck in the World Wide Web with nothing more than Facebook and the delights of WACCOE, the Leeds United football fan forums to keep me company. WACCOE is a funny little world. Firstly, the acronym stands for “We Are the Champions, Champions Of Europe” which is a popular chant at Elland Road nowadays, along with “Luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuciano Becchiooooooooooooo” and “Fabian Delph! Fabian Delph! Fabian Delph”. As you can see, the Leeds fans are really excelling themselves in the lowly depths of League One with their clever song lyrics!


So anyway, WACCOE is a very odd world indeed. It is both informative and comedic all in one. Sometimes it’s comedic when it’s meant to be informative…and vice versa. I am widely known on there by most of them and we have a laugh, to an extent…well, until I mention either wrestling, McFly or TV gameshow appearances, and then all of a sudden the windups start. Although to be perfectly honest, the fact that they get mentioned in the first place is mainly because I’m on a windup myself and it’s always fun to see the flurry of comments that are directed at me from “top lad” all the way down to things that I ain’t going to post on here, just in case my Mum reads it!


So…WACCOE and Facebook. Not exactly utilizing a massive proportion of the internet is it? Oh, and don’t forget I occasionally pop onto the BBC News website and IMDb.com now and then.


Why is it that there’s so much stuff out there on the internet, yet you tend to stick to about 4 or 5 sites and not navigate too much away from them? In fact, I realized that a long time ago and created a custom homepage with links to the main sites I do use to make navigation even quicker at http://www.screwthebanker.com/myhome.html

So there we go…a bit of rambling until next time.


Ciao for now!